"Life is Delicious. Devour it with joy in every cell of your body, mind and spirit. You will see its perfect qualities reflected back to you in many ways, seen and unseen.”
“I've been writing my whole life,” Debra said, “and putting it under the bed and hiding it. I didn't think of myself as a “writer”. I didn't think I had it in me. After I went through all of the loss that I went through, and after I came through the other side of it, I said, 'You know, I've always wanted to be a writer. I have nothing to lose. The worst I could ever imagine has happened. I'm going to do this.’” Debra added, “My book had to come out. I could not not write it.”
When the title Change Your Movie, Change Your Life surfaced from Debra’s intuition, she sat with the information, and thought, this book isn't about the movies. Her internal wisdom replied, “It is now.”
Debra rewrote the manuscript to explore the movie theme enhancing the 7 Reel Concepts that have shaped her life. “We write and direct our own ‘life’ film and how things turn out. How our life turns out is according to what we think, say, do, and manifest on the screen of our life.”
"When the Universe asks you to dance, say yes!"
Writing provided Debra the outlet she sought to delve inward and explore what got her through the loss of her 21 year old son, her baby girl in the 8th month of pregnancy and both her brothers within four years. “If I didn't have these concepts to live by and belief in what I believe, I don't know how I would have handled it all in such quick succession. We have to make sure we don't get so caught up in the loss that we don't see the silver lining, the gift, that can come from it - if we're open to it. I like to think that I am consciously holding the space for love and my life is bigger than the challenge set before me.”
“I believe if you have a belief system that stands up for you when you have one of life's big challenges come at you, it's perfect. Stick with it. If you fall apart and it doesn't work for you, find a new belief system.”
Debra’s book teaches us the seven concepts that we can use in many aspects of our life. “It's basically about universal laws and principles of the universe, and how we apply them to our lives. I wrote in a way that's very movie-like. And in the end, I rolled the credits. Written and directed by Debra Oakland, and the executive director, production manager, copy editors...”
It was her trust in the process that strengthened her courage to keep writing. She learned that when she tried to force things, they didn’t work, and she’d get stopped in her tracks. However, when she allowed things to come to her, the right people entered her life to help her. As Debra expressed, “It’s divine intervention. Everyone showed up.”
She coined the phrase, ‘NOW equals your Naturally Occurring Wonder.’ “When you can stay in the NOW moment, right here, right now, that's your Naturally Occurring Wonder, and everything you need will come to you. I believe I live in an abundant universe and everything I need shows up, and I trust in that and it works.”
“You become the observer in your life which gives you a new introspective. Remember to stay connected to your heart – that's your great key to peace and to who you really are. We can break old cycles that keep us stuck in our stuff. If you realize the internal change must proceed external change. That's important to get yourself out of potential ‘quicksand’.”
“Life is your movie production. You are the writer, director, editor, and producer. If you don’t like what you are experiencing, re-write the script.”
We are often not taught of the powerful ability we have as individuals to re-write our own life story. Debra shares the process of how she deprogrammed herself to explore what's true for her, what sparked a fire in her soul, and how she connects to her internal energy. “We are unique. Each of us has a gift to deliver to the world that no one else can deliver. There are people who will never discover what's within themselves and what that gift is.”
“Each person is unique in their own way … there are no copies of your individual blueprint/design. Think about the possibilities you hold to express yourself in a way no one else can. Exciting isn't it?”
“When you trust in the abundance of the Universe (I'm not talking about money specifically, money is a tiny bit of abundance), abundance includes everything and there is
abundance in every living thing. When you can trust in that abundance to flow to you, you've got well-being, and money (you can end up with financial independence). Abundance can be happiness, joy, a relationship, it can be anything you desire to have in your life.” Debra shared, “We have a relationship with money like we have a relationship with a friend, mate, or child. If you spoke to them like you do with money, they would leave you. Ask yourself in certain moments, would you want to be around you?”
Phrases like 'money sucks,' 'people with money are bad,' 'I don't have enough of this; I don't have enough of that' expand out into the world as your belief. In regard to manifesting, if you express outwardly, and say, ‘I really want money in my life,’ ‘I love money,’ ‘I respect it,’ ‘I want it’ and then you look at somebody and say, and then internalize, ‘look at that house they have, bet they...’ or ‘look that them and their fancy house. I don't know why they have that fancy house, they don't need that. It's big enough for twenty-five people’. The contradicting reactions confuse our consciousness and we block things from happening. Debra wrote (page 52), Everything we do or say or meditate upon has vibratory effects that flow out into our world. Those vibrations are molecular actions, which influence and create reactions. It is the creative force within you; that aspect of you which is “created in the image of God.”
The seven concepts can be utilized in many areas of our lives. For example, if someone had a relationship issue and they blame the other person. We may question, ‘how could they do this to me’, ‘don't they love me’, ‘why did they do this’? When speaking to someone in these situations, Debra tries to guide them back to their answers from within. “First I ask them, 'Do you feel you are responsible for everything you do?' 'Do you take ownership that what you do creates the outcome; what you think, what you say, what you feel? Some people will say, no. have caused the horrible situations in their lives.”
“In the book I talk about this. We bring certain players into our movie and when their part is over, it's okay to let them go. They are going off to be in another person's movie. You'll have many people come in and rehearse for the new parts in yours. I like to tell people that 'you created this'. How do you want to fix this? What conscious choices are you making? Are they in the highest and greatest good or are they created out of fear? And no matter how hard it is, to come from a place of love versus fear, it is better to move forward and say, 'Hey, I made a mistake. I'm sorry.' or ‘This relationship isn't for me', 'I now see what I've mirrored for myself, I've learned what I've dealt with in this relationship and I have learned new things that I do want in a relationship according to how I'm feeling here.' I bring them back to self; back to their inner workings and how they possibly manifested this out by what they consciously chose to do and the actions they chose to live by.”
“We have to trust where we are, and why we're there,” Debra shared as we spoke about what it was like to lose her loved ones, which ended up being one person a year for four years. Writing helped her transform her pain of loss to a place where she found the courage to help people with her story and provided a platform to share her beliefs on how the soul-contracts we have before we come into this life is very powerful. She believes in reincarnation, and takes comfort in knowing when someone dies, their soul takes them to their next destination. It helps her to know her loved ones are okay. “If they weren’t here, it’s because their soul took them where they needed to be.” She focused on caring for herself, and honoring their lives in a spirit of love. “I didn’t go into the ‘poor me’; I went into an ‘I’m going to honor them by being happy’. That’s what they would want for me.”
Grief is a unique process. It takes time. The process is different for each person. “What you have to be aware of is when grief becomes your identity, and you end up playing the victim. If this grief is your identity, then you’re playing the victim. You have to create the life you want. A lot of people are controlled by their grief, and they let it take them hostage.”
“I don't know who said this. They say deep loss is like a burn. You will grow new skin. You'll feel the pain, but as the new skin grows the pain lessons and the skin grows thicker in spots. Now that's what I call courage; where it grows thicker. Our loved ones that passed do vibrate to love. So if you're angry, bitter, or in a horrible state of grief over their loss, they can't feel you and you can't feel them. They can't come to you and be with you. They can only come to those in a state of love and peace.”
“Internal change must proceed external change. If you're not willing to change your internal, your external is not going to change. Your internal world determines your external world. Changing your internal world for the better doesn't mean that everything is going to be all roses.It's not like everyday is perfect.”
Over the six years it took Debra to self-publish Change Your Movie, Change Your Life, it was common for her to spend ten to twelve hours a day writing and editing. Her husband would come home from work and ask her if she'd stepped away from her book yet, and she typically hadn’t. “I learned how to self-publish, which was an education. I researched everything; every option.” Debra was in a state of complete trust, knowing what she was doing would help many others, the right people showed up at the right time with the next element to be added to the final product. When things were not in the flow, she could feel the resistance to that particular process. An example of this involved her book cover. She paid an individual to create her cover artwork, which took longer than expected and then when she received it, she didn't like it. After she made the decision to scrap it, she found her cover image by accident the next day, and she received the cover you see on her book today within a week.
A bit of advice Debra shares for those healing from a loss is to be cautious of the counselor who tells you what you need to do in the 'outer world' versus guiding you to your 'inner world' where you can make your own choices from a conscious level for your highest good.
“In my desire to inspire and support people I provide a spiritual oasis for overcoming life's biggest challenges, and I have developed seven concepts for creative change that not only help people survive in the face of adversity but gives them the tools to thrive,” Debra said. “My goal is to inspire and support people through the rough patches in their life.”
Cindy (C.K.) Kochis is an Integrative Nutrition Health Coach who transformed her coaching practice as the foundation of Elements For A Healthier Life. She is providing a community space for people to share their personal stories, professional knowledge and healthy eating options. Cindy is a coach, virtual assistant, author, grandmother and sassy redhead. She self-published “Get A Compass Not A Clock” and “Unleash Your Inner Story”. For more information about Cindy’s services, visit ckkochis.com.
This article was originally published in the January 2017 edition of Elements For A Healthier Life Magazine.