I was watching a YouTube interview the other day featuring psychologist, author and Coach Dr. Robert Holden. During the interview, he asked the viewers to answer this question: “What would my life feel like if I didn’t judge?” What a powerful idea! Just think how different our lives would feel if we didn’t pass judgement on anyone and, even more importantly, on ourselves. Every area of our lives would benefit if we could maintain this mindset. I can’t think of a better place to try this out than in the workplace!
Monday through Friday, we are asked to put ourselves in an environment where we are bombarded with deadlines, stress and other people’s drama. We can be the unfortunate recipients of the fear, jealousy, and envy of co-workers and bosses alike. It can be a dog-eat-dog world out there and we’re one of the bones! Yet think how much easier it would be to make it through the day if we didn’t stop to pass judgement on the behavior of others. Think about it for a moment. We have no idea what makes other people behave as they do. We are not privy to their history, be it their private or business lives. We don’t know the basis for the fear that drives their ambitions at the expense of our feelings. We’ve never walked a mile in their shoes. For all we know, given a different set of life experiences, these folks could have been the kind of people you love spending time with instead of the kind of people you can’t wait to get away from! Ask yourself this question: What would my work day be like if I didn’t judge the actions of my co-workers but accepted the fact that I don’t know what drives their actions and wish them an end to their suffering? What would happen to the way your day went? In fact, once you recognize that even though what they say and do may seem as if they are targeting you, in reality, it likely has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. This is when your sense of suffering at the hands of others ends.
The same idea applies to judging yourself. We also act out of our beliefs about ourselves and our environment, which have been conditioned by our history and how we perceive it. What if we asked ourselves this question: What would my day look like if I didn’t judge everything I said and did but did my very best and loved myself, anyway? The harshest critic you will ever come up against is yourself. Whether you believe you did a great job, a merely adequate job, or a rotten job, is a judgment with you sitting in the judge’s seat. Only you can decide whether you are doing your best, (under sometimes trying circumstances), and whether you are okay with the final result.
When we perform our duties without judgment, and when we carry on our relationships with our co-workers without judgment, our lives become happier and easier, and you’d be surprised how the energy in your office will change for the better. In fact, don’t be surprised if someone asks you, “How come you’re always so happy at work?” You just might set a whole new trend!
Barb Parcells lives in upstate New York with her two feline roommates, surrounded by the beauty of the Finger Lakes region. She is the author of two blogs, a writing website, and has published three e-books on conscious aging. When she is not writing, she spends her time reading, gardening, and visiting with family and friends. BarbParcellsWritingALife.wordpress.com
This article appeared in Issue 15 of Elements For A Healthier Life Magazine on May 1, 2018.
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